The World According to Benjamin

The world can be a complicated place, even in the best of times.  My world, on a daily basis, is a busy one, filled with personal, professional and social pressures, good and bad.  I get used to multi-tasking, and having my attention drawn in umpteen different directions.  I long for days when I can kick back, put external pressures aside, and relax with just me, and my own thoughts.

Today, I enjoyed a rare stress-free afternoon, and went to visit Benjamin, my sister’s son, and my only nephew.  It was one of the first times I had ever visited, just with the purpose of seeing him play.  I have certainly gotten the chance to see him with a certain sense of regularity, usually at family functions at my sister or mom’s house, about every 3-4 weeks.  I am forever in awe of his continual development, as each time I do see him, he is able of doing something new.  It might be a new word, or some learned knowledge (ie: letters or numbers), or the ability to demonstrate some new skill.  I have never been around young kids on a daily basis, so to a certain extent, I am grateful to Sarah and Sean for allowing me to live a bit vicariously through them, in terms of being able to watch and enjoy the innocence of life at his age.

I watched him today at the playground, and I was overcome with just how simple his life is. I admit that most people enjoy this state of being when they are young, when their days generally  consist of eating, sleeping, playing or the like.  It made me realize that the world through his eyes is so much different than mine, or most adults.  I tried to put myself in his place, and unfortunately, I couldn’t.  But it is cool to think about.  Watching him eat from a bowl, using a fork, and drinking from his cup, with minimal assistance….he looked so content, and so proud of himself. Walking around the living room, going from one toy to the next, or crossing the room to the door, with no agenda to follow other than whatever sensory stimuli he chose to follow seems so cool to me.  I have no idea what is going on in his head, and unfortunately, he doesn’t speak well enough yet to really express himself, although it is clear to me that Sarah, Sean and Mom understand what he is saying. The sheer pleasure from getting in his little car, and being pushed down the street to the playground brought a grin to his face that did not disappate.  He looked left and right, pointed to this and that, all the while just enjoying being outside, going for a ride, and spending time with his father and uncle.  I can’t drive 5 minutes in my car without brainstorming what I need to do when I get to where I am going, or who I need to call back, or something I have to get done later.

At the playground, Benjamin looked like he was in pure heaven.  Sean had mentioned how much he liked to be outside, but it was amazing to me how good natured this fellow was, and how much energy he had.  He went on the swings, he played on the see-saw, he went down the slide, and he played on the playground, spinning wheels, and was genuinely enthralled by things that I would normally take for granted.  I wonder sometimes if he has a short attention span, but I also see times when he can be so focused on one activity, that it shows me that he is just a fun-loving kid. 

I love working with kids, and I hope that in some way, I help make a small difference in the lives of my students and athletes.  I don’t know if I could ever have the patience or energy to work with toddlers, and I sometimes wonder if I would have sound parenting skills.  With that in mind, though, there are so few things that give me more pleasure than watching Benjamin in action.  I just am so taken in by his exhuberance, his enthusiasm, his intelligence, and his natural sense of curiosity.  I am sure that his parents would suggest that he has times when he is less charming than others, but I will concede that I have not yet seen them.  I haven’t seen him sick, and I have not seen him overly cranky before.  To me, it is just such a treat to visit him, and refreshing to see the world through his eyes.

Through Benjamin’s eyes, I would imagine, that life is still somewhat routine, in that he still has to depend upon people to do alot for him, but other than that, it seems so simple.  Days filled with playing…figuring out which blocks go in what holes, or how to work the car elevator on your toy garage, or look at pictures of Curious George, even if you don’t know what the story is about.  It is about seeing only the good things in nature…the squirrels running through the yard, or the cars passing by, or maybe a big orange truck with strange men coming out of it to do loud work on a nearby street.  It is about seeing the world from the seat of a stroller or toy car, being pushed along by someone who is happy to help you, while you take in all the exciting sounds, sights, and colors that the world has to offer.  It is a world of trial and error, about seeing how things you try to do sometimes work, and sometimes don’t .  It is about a sense of pride or a big “YEAH” when you have done a good job, and seeing a big smile on Mommy or Daddy or Grandma’s face.  It is a world in which people are happy to drop what they are doing to spend time with you because they love you unconditionally, and love to share in the delight of seeing you grow up into a big boy. It is a world when alot of things are continually new, and will remain that way for a long time, until the clutter and stress of the adult world starts to crowd your brain and schedule.

I am sure that my Mom could tell me that I was this way too, 34 years ago.  I’m sure that Benjamin is not completely unique in his mannerisms, although he is incredibly special to me.  Obviously, I don’t remember much of my youth, although most of my earliest memories were from playing with my siblings, or being loved (read: spoiled) by my grandparents.  We do grow up, our lives, worlds and minds become complicated.  I’m not saying this is all bad, it is simply human nature. I want to thank Benjamin for the opportunity for me to reflect on the innocence of human life, through the eyes of a toddler, and allow me to recall the good things that come from a new life, which is as blank as a new canvass, before an artist paints upon it. Thank you for reminding me that there is something pure and unblemished in this world, and giving me a brief respite from a daily routine that is often cluttered with things that are often so much more complicated than the world I see through his eyes.  I so look forward to more afternoon’s like this one, and to the perceived joys and pride I will have in him as he continues to get older, and grow up, hoping only that he can maintain the simplicity and happiness that he holds today. What a wonderful thing to behold.