XB Cox, IV: Retrospective on Perspective

Today’s date, September 22nd, is a day I will remember for the rest of my life. It was two years ago today that XB Cox, IV passed away following a brave fight against luekemia.  He was not the first person I had ever known who had passed away, but I can honestly say that his death has probably touched me more than any other I have known.  I think about Boone every single day, bar none.  His was a senseless passing, bothersome not just because of the suffering he endured, but moreso because of the fact that I firmly believe that Boone was destined to make a difference in this world.

Maybe it is a bit odd for a teacher/coach to feel so attached to a former student-athlete.  I mean, I am told that it is my role to try and affect the lives of my kids in a positive manner…to educate, to guide, maybe even to inspire.  This is one of the things that keeps me going when my job gets tiresome…my hope that I might make a real difference in the life of a youngster, the same way I had my own teachers/coach do for me.  I may never really know just what difference I made in Boone’s life, but the difference he made in mine has been seemingly immeasurable. I am told that I am only supposed to be a teacher to my students, and not their friend….but once in a while, I have found those students who exceed that boundary.  Maybe once or twice a year, I am lucky to work with someone whom I know I will remain close with as the years go by.

I should make it clear today, as I reflect on Boone and his death.  I don’t miss Boone because of the memories I have…I keep those locked inside me and will never let those go. I miss Boone each day because of the man he could have/should have become.  I miss hearing about his latest achievement, or his most recent prank, or seeing him come home from college, becoming more of a man everyday.  I am privileged to see some of those every year from my alumni…and I will not get to see the latest chapter in Boone’s life. I will have to be content with four years of running, of laughter, of races and pranks.  I will keep Boone in my memory as a leader, and as one of the guys.  He was never the absolute fastest one on the team, but he was central to anything we were ever doing, and he was part of an era…part of a group of young men and women I will remember fondly for the rest of my life.  Even today, I fondly remember his fun side….the ninja and the yo yo incidents…Halloween 2004 (Centreville style)…the assassination game….and 1001x 10¹⁰⁰ pushups for the J-Bomb….to hearing how he would tell his mother to tell Brad that he was running on Sunday, when in reality he was playing video games. This is the Boone I will remember, but only moreso.  I remember his tenacity when racing, the pride he took out of leading off the Chantilly Boys 4×800m Relay team.  He was part of a brotherhood that has not been duplicated since. I recall roadtrips, and weeks at camp, usually accompanied by some sort of antic of which he was an integral part. I remember how he was always at his best when it mattered most…at districts, or regionals…or when his teammates were counting on him.  He was a teammate, a friend and a brother…and I have mental images that I still see everyday….of him shifting gears on the backstretch…of him adorned in a ninja mask…and with is broad smile, even after he got sick.

Maybe the special thing about Boone is that despite his death, if not because of it, he continues to affect people, and not just me.  I am certain that he would have made something of himself had he lived…a professional success, and a committed family man, but he has also left his mark in death.  He didn’t live to see 20 years old, but I know in the five years I knew him, he changed my life permanently.  His own words inspired people to get involved with a cause…cancer or whatever…and to make a difference. Boone always knew the difference between what was right and wrong, and usually followed the right path.  He was always willing to put the other guy ahead of him.  I remember the year after he got sick, still coming out to see how his team was doing, or to cheer on his sister.  Even at his frailest moments, he still had the time and energy to laugh a bit with his friends, to put on a brave face, and make everyone else feel better about his situation.

I think if nothing else, Boone’s death brought alot of people together, and have created an unliftable bond that will remain forever.  The memories we share, the stories we can recall, the smiles that are brought to each other’s faces are invaluable.  Boone may have just been one of the guys, but he was one helluva young man.  He helps me keep things in perspective, in that I know that no matter how bad things may seem, I really have things pretty good.  I’ve never been really sick, and I’ve never suffered in the way he did.  I have experienced loss, but I have never had to deal with the fear that must come from my own mortality.  I have never had to really question “Why me?” I don’t know if Boone went through these questions….human nature would say that he must have, but he never let it on.  He is a reminder of what is good in the world, and that you can make a difference, if not in deed, then in words and in spirit.  I am proud to use his initials on my track invitational, and to wear them on the jerseys for our ad hoc track club.  I hope that I can tell these same stories for generations to young men and women long after those who actually knew are gone.  I hope to be able to reminisce with others on the affects that Boone had on our lives, even as the years continue to go by. Some may say…”get over it…move on”…but this is something…someone, who has touched me in a way that I can never forget.  It belies professional or academic/athletic boundaries….Boone was/is my friend, and he serves as a real inspiration as to what greatness really entails.

I know it is easy to use today’s anniversary as an impetus for writing this, but I have these thoughts every day.  I don’t expect everyone to understand….that’s not that big a deal to me, though.  This is personal to me, and I know that there are alot of other people who have similar emotions. Boone Cox was an extraordinary young man, and in a short time, he made such a difference. I look forward to the annual Light the Night walks to benefit luekemia research, but I also look forward to each day, in hopes that I might be able to somehow inspire people even a small percentage as Boone did. I hope that someday I might be remembered for making a difference in someone’s life….thank you for all you have done, Boone.  Somehow, I know, somewhere, you are smiling.